Live Forever how to

God made me laugh!


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Qualifications


Credentials

What are my qualifications for writing a book on how to live forever? That is an excellent question and in some way also quite irrelevant considering that the information presented in ‘LIVE FOREVER how-to’ is not mine. It would be called plagiarism if it wasn’t that the author of the main book encourages his readers to share. The compilation of scripture verses in ‘LIVE FOREVER how-to’ are snippets of wisdom, collected straight from the source.

To put everyone’s mind at ease about my credentials and credibility I have the following to offer.

I read a lot and put what I read to good use.

Around ten years ago a cousin to whom I felt very close, came to tell me that he was going to live forever. He told me this just before he took his own life, a week later. His words prompted me to study living forever intensely for the next decade.

Over the last decade, I’ve read through the Bible most days to find the answers on to ‘how to live forever.’ That means that I roughly read around 1000 pages of the Bible, each year. I have distilled this information and intend to present this in an easy to read format of around 60 pages total, which can be casually meandered through within around ten minutes.

My background is varied and diverse.

I was raised a Catholic and married an atheist life saver as well as a Buddhist doctor, in that order and not at the same time. I grew up with brothers and sisters with wildly varying viewpoints and understandings of religion, the Bible, God and the church. My surroundings have been mainly secular inhabited by myriad good Samaritans. I have no hidden agenda nor a particular point to push across.

As a model I learned that imagery is deceptive.  As a secretary I learned that serving the boss comes first and everything else comes second. As a practice manager and director of a medical company I learned about suffering and my capacity for motivating others. As a wife and mum I learned that in the end the only thing that matters is just loving each other.

I’m considered a heretic.

Contrary to what the Catholic church preaches, I believe that God’s Word is over and above church doctrine. Because I was raised a Catholic and have been baptised into the Catholic church, the fact that I have different beliefs to the Catholic church makes me a heretic according to the Catholic doctrine.

Being seen to be a heretic according to church authorities means that my readers don’t have to be concerned that I’ll be injecting any kind of Catholic or any other church doctrine into my writing.

I am familiar with and respect worldly as well as religious perspectives.

Prior to reading the Bible I studied mysticism, practiced New Age disciplines as well as Wicca, Dzog Chen Buddhism and have come to understand the concepts of nothingness, yogic and tantric practices, enlightenment and states of bliss. This means that I am familiar with all different kinds of viewpoints and, even though I no longer participate in any of them, I respect those.

 I am not affiliated in any way with any manmade religion or doctrine.

I am not affiliated with any church, denomination, synagogue, temple or any manmade religion whatsoever. That means that my Scripture verses compilation is not coloured by any church or synagogue doctrine but is straight from the very source it came from; the bible, God’s Word.

I am an ace at how not to’s.

No further comment here, other than that I reckon in a round about way that this at least should qualify me for RPR (Recognised Prior Learning).

I love reading the Bible.

I enjoy nothing better than applying Scripture truths to daily life in a simple straight forward and no nonsense way. My greatest joy comes from sharing the peace and happiness that The Word brings me. I am anything but flawless and the Bible tells me that people such as I are qualified to receive and pass on Good News.

I occasionally read the news.

Every now and then I comment on news worthy events as the editor at the Lord’s Pub.

My Godchild and children teach me lots all the time.

As a mum and Godmother I’m supposed to know about certain things to do with heaven, birds and bees and so on. You can find me sharing and musing about these imponderables on the Babes and Little Children site.

I’ve got a thing for Instrumentals and old fashioned Dixie swing.

I know, it’s random but in my spare time I write lyrics for the band People is Grass which lives at itunes.

I’m head over heels.

I’m head over heels with the main character of my favourite book. I know that doesn’t give me any brownie points, just wanted to share that with you.

I know a few things about living for ever.

Although being a keen Bible reader on its own doesn’t necessarily qualify anyone for anything in particular, in my case it means that at a minimum I can tell my readers

a. Where the concept of living forever came from and

b. how many times this is mentioned in the Bible,

c. by whom,

d. and in what context.

e. Some of the main eligibility requirements for eternal life.

That is more than the average person will be able to tell you.

That’s a start.

 

all rights reserved copyright myemmanuel 2014

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The Funniest Religious Joke Of All Time


About loving one and other

The following joke by Emo Philips has been voted the funniest religious joke of all times.

Loving each other

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”

He said, “Nobody loves me.”

I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.”

I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”

He said, “A Christian.”

I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?”

He said, “Protestant.”

I said, “Me, too! What franchise?”

He said, “Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”

I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

 

Believers are commanded to love one and other

Believers are commanded to love one and other. The commandments tell us this and Jesus summed it up just as His Father did by saying, ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.’

Jokes are usually funniest when they resemble real life. Many religious people find it easy to love each other when they are in agreement on the doctrine, but as soon as there is the slightest disagreement many of us are happy to threaten each other with hell fire. My teacher taught me to continue loving people when I’m in disagreement with them too. In scripture we are not asked to love each other, but we are ‘commanded’ to love one and other.  Jesus said that his disciples can be recognised by the love they have for one and other.

And yet one of the scariest things for me is to share my love of scripture with others. Why is it scary to share my love of scripture particularly with other believers? Because many  believers think that the only right way to believe is ‘their’ way. This is beautifully illustrated by Elmo’s joke as mentioned above.

The bible tells me that God knows the heart and that we are not to judge each other. Many people turn away from religion because of the hypocrisy. Just the other day I read a lovely quote by a religious man who said that he ‘put all the books aside.’ And now his religion is  “Never be the source of anyone’s misfortune and never pass up the opportunity to perform a charitable deed.” That is all.  By Carl D’Agostino. I think that sums the teachings up just nicely.

A star rating is just someones opinion and beauty is in the eye of the beholder

The above joke by Elmo tells us that religion is no joke and that there is a lot of room for improvement. The following three scenarios highlight the inanity to expect others to see anything at all the same way as we do ourselves.

Scenario one

Whenever I go to Amazon books and read the reviews about any given book, it never ceases to amaze me how many different opinions are given for any particular book. Whilst many people may hit the five star button, there’s usually also a fair few who hit the one or two star button. And all that this shows me is that human beings tend to have different opinions about the same thing.

The five star opinion nor the one star opinion make the book necessarily a good or a bad book. The star rating is just a measure of someones opinion about the book.

Scenario two

A friend brought in her new puppy dog the other day and the neighbour’s child ran out crying after the puppy jumped up at her  and licked her. The child thought that the dog attacked her whilst in reality the dog was trying to make a new friend. A little later whilst my daughter was sitting on the floor playing with the puppy, the child’s mum walked in and asked if this was a guide dog in training. The first person thought that the puppy was an vicious monster, the mum thought that the dog was a guide dog and my daughter saw the same animal as a playmate. Could they all be right at the same time?

Scenario three 

Standing on the shore line one day my husband pointed to a boat in the distance and said that he could see the coast guard. My brother who was standing next to him and expecting one of his sailor friends to drop by, insisted it was a yacht. His ten year old son peering through his new binoculars could only see a pirate ship. All three of them were looking at the same boat at the same time.

Please don’t push me off the bridge

Considering the three above given scenarios; what makes us think that we are ever going to be in agreement over religion, denominations or churches, temples and synagogues? We all have different viewpoints and different religions, yet we are all human beings who share this planet and our stories in order to be of benefit to one and other.

I’ll be talking about God’s Word and how it has impacted my life and why it works for me and my family. What I have learned in the process is that everyone will give their own interpretation about their own religion or lack thereof. Yet in the end it is all about what is in a person’s heart.

I love GOD’s Word because it has given me a template to live by and it answers every single question I’ve ever had. I am very grateful and keen to share this with anyone who wants to hear because God’s Word kept me alive and has given me hope for a new life and new future and I know it will do the same for others too.
I am tentatively taking my first few new steps.

Please don’t push me off the bridge.

 

all rights reserved copyright myemmanuel 2014